Life....

I am going to go crazy..if I stay here..
I wish my dad were dead. I hate him. I couldn't even eat at the table with him without him setting me off.

Things were so amazing when he was gone. Everything went so well..And now that he's back everything sucks again. My mother is constantly in a bad mood, she's always yelling at me and cussing at me. My dad told me he hates being around me and that I'm the worst Christian he's ever met.

I can't stop crying, I'm miserable. I haven't been so depressed in a long time. I'm going to move away as soon as I can. I'm going to go to talk my grandparents and see if they'll take me. At this point, it's the only chance I have. I'm never coming back.

I need to focus on my Christianity, and I can't with him around. He's causing me to be things I don't want to be. Is there anybody there who hears me?

All I can do is just scream out..hoping that someone might hear me.

wow...i'm praying for you. i really don't know what to tell you...accept don't do anything you'll regret. and don't get me wrong, i'm not siding with ur parents at all, but you have to remember they're the only parents you have and you don't want to leave on bad terms do you? i'm only asking because i really don't want to see you hurt more than you're hurting now. if you need to talk or anything like that you can PM me. i'll be praying for you tho.

Thanks.

I appreciate your concern and prayers. I honestly wouldn't care if I left on bad terms. I love my mother (As miserable as she is at times), but I hate my father.

I just love my mother unconditionally. We have a pretty decent relationship when my dad's not around. When he want to Dubai for 3 weeks, we got close. Now that he's back, she's snapping all the time. He just adds more stress to her already stressful life.

Just when I think things are getting better, they get worse. I'm not coping well with my dad being back.

I'm praying. I hate my dad, too, so I understand. Hang in there.

Alot of people here hate their dads. Dads are just hateable, I guess. Lol.

What's worse is the youth are going to a YEC this Saturday..

...My dad's driving. That's going to be very embarassing for me. *Sigh*

P.S. Congratulations on your exquisite grades.

The reason we all fit so well together here is because we're all intelligent.

Well.. most of us... *coughJacecough*

KIDDING!

Thanks.

Ugh... If my dad was driving I'd die. I hate going to church or anything like that with him because I can't concentrate. I'm too busy hating.

This is going to be a long reply so prepare yourselves.

There are several things that need to be discussed here regarding your situation, Kin, and Fathers in general. One of the things that I disagree with is having to put up with your parents and their crap. You don't have to do that. I just learned that very recently that just because they are your parents, doesn't mean that they have the right to treat you anyway that they feel or please. That's ridiculous!

Secondly, next time your dad calls you the worst Christian ever, tell him "Thank you and I appreciate the complement". That sounds strange but I am DEAD SERIOUS! That is a complement when you stop and think about it. You see most people, and this is proven, always lash out at someone about something that they, themselves, have a problem with. Most of the time it's a problem that they know they have of their own but, human pride shines here, they won't admit it to anyone else and they just feel better by attacking someone else about that problem. Hence, I would not be surprised if you dad felt that he was a horrible Christian and didn't know how to fix it, and seeing you do the things that you do probably remind him of his problem and that's what sets him off.

Next, the whole

Kinslayer wrote:Dads are just hateable, I guess.

thing is not so far from the truth. Let me elaborate on this a little. What is it that father's are commissioned, by GOD, to do? Be the head of the household and the spiritual head of the house as well as be the provider for his family. That may not sound like a lot, but that's no picnic. Let's break this down bit by bit, shall we?

The Head of the House
This is a misconception by every frigging Christian family I have ever encountered! That is no exaggeration! Being the head of the house hold DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE SUPREME! It just doesn't! What it means, and if you read up on this you understand this better, is that he is to be THE GUIDE and the LEADER, not the DOMINATOR. The father is to teach his children the meanings of the world and how to survive the world and the things that will come up in life. I'm sorry if I am crushing everything that everyone has ever ingrained into your brain, but that's the truth of the matter. God never intended for the father to rule over his family like some tyrant, the father "figure" was established by God to teach his offspring how to live and how to be a parent and well round person and such. Here is the biggest problem with that, everyone has a mind of their own (its called free will, which God instilled in us all) and that will, practically every time, conflict with what your father says.Simply because you think, or "know" (and I use that term very loosely), what is best for you. I'm telling you right now, YOU DON'T!

Nobody knows what's best for them, and you know how I know that, because you haven't made the choices yet to know whether or not it is the best thing for you. Plain and simple, you just don't know until you make the choice, and you never will if you don't. Yes, 99.99% of the time, your parents have gone through the situation you are going through, I can guarantee it! However, that still doesn't allow them to dictate what you do. If they tell you to do something, just do it...it will save you serious grief and anger. The only exception is if it would literally kill you...as in you really would be dead. Then don't, but other than that, it's not that big of a deal. Most of the time they are telling you this for a reason and there is very good reason for it.

The Spiritual Head of the House
This pretty much falls within the same realm as the previous one, with a little twist. Being the head of the house is teaching your offspring the ways of life and the world, but being the spiritual head means being the GUIDE and LEADER of your family in the ways of God, which let me tell you...is a battle. I'm speaking from experience here; I know how hard that is. I had to fight with my wife for years before she finally came back to God, and those were some fights! I digress. You have to be able and willing to teach God's commands to your family and uphold those commands even if it means distension in the family, because God's laws and rules come before anything else, and the children tend to disagree with dad because they think they know better.

Again, it comes back to free will and choice. You always have a choice, but you just need to remember which one it is that is the best choice for you and your future. Don't just make a choice because you want to PROVE to your parents that they don't ave control over you. THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU COULD EVER DO! I say that out of experience and I know now that I should have never done the things that I did and made the choices that I did just to show them that I could make my own decisions and that they didn't have control over me and my life. I made some bad decisions because of that.

Just make sure that you take into consideration the consequences of the decision that you make. Sorry for side tracking but I needed to make that point to you. As fathers, we are given the duty by God to teach our children His ways and how to live by his way and word. Remember this next time you dad is saying something about the bible or about something about life in general.

Provider of the Family
Again, this is not an easy task to accomplish in todays world. The majority of families today have to have duel incomes in order to survive and make ends meat. That makes it hard for the fathers to do their jobs since they can't really provide for their families in the manner in which they are supposed to.

I know that I am being long winded about this matter but I felt that it is something that everyone needs to realize and understand. Remember all of this information the next time you fell that your dad is jumping down your throat. Chances are you'll understand him a little better having this knowledge and information. Now, don't get me wrong, fathers are the most peachiest of people at times. Having to be the head, spiritual head, and provider of the family, they tend to get a bad wrap when it comes to parents. You have to remember though, it's their job to be your parent, NOT YOUR FRIEND. They will have plenty of time to be your friend after you move out, but while you live with them and grow into adults, they aren't supposed to be your friends.

That does not mean that they can treat you like crap or talk down to you or anything like that, that's wrong no matter who you are or what your age is. But they have to be your parents and they do care about you (there are exceptions to every rule) and they want the best for you and that's why they seemed overbearing and hard on you. It, ultimately, is to ensure that you are a well rounded, intelligent, and admirable person and that you do the right things in life.

I'm sorry that your dad causes so much trouble in your house, Kin. Mine was the same way, so I understand. But remember everything that I said here next time he comes at you with something. Keep your cool! That is your biggest weapon against anybody, is remaining calm while the other person blows up. What that does is they end up looking like the complete fool and it makes themselves out to realize that they are wrong in how they are handling the situation. Trust me, My dad did some horrid things to me and I always made him out to look like the idiot because of how I handled it.

It's rather gratifying actually. Just remember to keep your cool and remember what the Bible says about parents and there duties. As for him calling you a "Bad Christian" don't fight it, accept it and thank him. Because there is no such thing as a "Good Christian", there just isn't. They simply don't exist, and that's because we all sin and that automatically negates us from being "good". They just don't exist. Period. It's a hard fact to accept, but it's the absolute truth. Just keep your head up about this whole thing and honestly, if you feel that you need to get away from him and them...then do it. A friend of mine left for a year to get away from his mom and sister and he said that it was the greatest thing he had ever done.

So I encourage you to throughly think it through and pray about it...fervently. Listen for God's reply and then make your decision based upon the facts and what you think will be the best decision for you and the rest of your life. Again I apologize for the length in which this was written, but I feel that it needed to be said and gotten out there.

I agree with the fathers not dominating part. My dad seems to think he is king and he's sexist. However, I stopped reading when you got to knowing what's best, because I sure do know better than he does, because I'm nothing like him and things are different for me than they are for him or anyone else in this world.

Finish reading it. You'll understand what I was saying. Read everything and you'll understand what I am talking about.

That still doesn't change it. My parents were nothing like me. My dad has never had the opportunites or the drive that I have. He doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to me, no matter what the subject is. However, I'm not stupid. i do know that i don't know what I'm doing, either, which is why I come to God with everything. Asking Him what I should do is better than asking any human, especially a parent who is wrong most of the time. (he proves that not only to me, but to my mother all the time)

as I said, if you kept reading, there are exceptions to every rule. There are a lot of people out there that don't have a clue as to what they are talking about. That may very well be the case with you. I'm sure he doesn't know the first thing about you...because you are different genders. Women will never understand men (as much as they would like to think so) and men will never understand nor figure out women. It's that simple.

Okay, I just now read your lengthy reply.


I agree with you. I know what the Bible says about the father being the head of the household. I never thought that it was sexist in any way, or it meant that the father was the tyrant. I understand that he's supposed to be the leader, but sometimes he really doesn't act like it.

No, God DID NOT INTEND TO MAKE THE MAN DOMINATOR OF THE FAMILY. However, some men THINK THAT IS WHY THEY'RE THERE. My sister's husband (Or so-called "Head of The Household")is ..

(1. Abusive Physically, Mentally, and Verbally
(2. Athiest
(3. Alcoholic
(4. Druggy

Now, that is not the head of a household. Not all men are here for what God intended them to do, and that's because Satan has pulled them away from God.

I know, I should've handled it better when he called me a bad Christian. I realized immediately that there is no such thing as a Good Christian. However, in my opinion, there's no such thing as a bad Christian either. I mean, if you drink, and do drugs, and go have pre-marital sex, and go against the Bible in every way possible, and still go out and say you follow Christ, and are Christ-like in everyway, that's a bad Christian. I have done nothing but try to follow Jesus' example. I want to make Jesus proud. I really do.

I don't know what my father thinks of his Christianity, but I do know it's a bit odd. I mean, considering he's Iraqi, he grew up in Iraq most of his life. Hence, he was a Muslim. I know a lot about the Muslim culture, and the Islamic religion, from him, and my own lengthy studies about it. The Koran is a complete contradiction, in my opinion, to the Bible. First of all, I don't agree with killing in the name of Allah. Jihads are complete crap.

He believes in the Koran, and yet believes in the Bible, too. I think that's a huge contradiction in itself. He can't believe both! One says that Jesus was never even born, and the word of God says that Jesus was the only son of God, born of a virgin. I don't see how he can believe both.

I never said I know what's right for me. I never have known what was right for me. Why do you think I make so many mistakes? Why do you think I let my emotions run all over me? Why do I say no when I should say yes? That's why I'm really trying to listen to God more. That's why I want a more intimate relationship with God. That's what I really want. I'm sorry. I'm not following my father. I'm following God.

I know my parents have gone through a lot with their families..My mother was abandoned as a 6 month old baby, and my dad was beaten continuously by his brother. And many other things that are too private to discuss..

My mom and dad never were the spiritual head of the household. I was never raised in a Christian home. We didn't go to church, my parents CONSTANTLY fought. Almost every other night, and it's still like that. Though, it's never like that when my dad's away. That's why I'm not coping well with him being home.


Thank you very much for your reply. I'm going to be pray very hard about this.

Hey I'm not saying that everyone should be listened to. As long as you do what you feel is the right thing, than don't worry about everyone else. There no reason to. Just remember

Bible wrote:I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

and everything else is just...there.

Thank you.

It's what I'm here for.

That's true. I had a long talk with God today..I've just been praying over and over for His patience and Strength.

I want people to see Christ in me, I don't want them to see me. I want them to see Christ. It's hard to measure up.

I want to bring full-meaning to being a Christian.

When you do...let me know. It is almost impossible to do simply because people will scrutinize you even more once the find out that you are a Christian. When you do something wrong, They will be the first ones to point it out and mock you for it. It is a very hard thing to deal with and live through, not saying that you can't, but just be forewarned.

I know that because it happens to me everyday. What I'm saying is, I'm going to follow Jesus' example regardless of what they think or say. I'm going to try harder. I will make mistakes, and taint my title as Christian, but who doesn't? The important thing is, by our mistakes, we show people God is taking care of us through it.